Here We Go Again! Confusing A Simple Story Just to Promote Modern-Day Gynocentric Feminism for Cash. Why?

Senior Journalist -

How hard is it to tell a simple damsel-in-distress story?

And no, this is not about hating women or wanting women to be weak. If anything, that’s the modern mental programming. Always jumping to negative, sexist conclusions. Not everything is about hating women or wanting them to be inferior. It’s about telling the story correctly, which they failed to do in the first movie.

In the first movie, Mario had to learn from Princess Peach how to be Super Mario. Huh? Why does she need to train someone to help save her if it’s something she could’ve done herself? And with such easy?! Mario was a bumbling, insecure idiot; Luigi was the damsel in distress; and Peach was the sensei/competent, strong, independent princess who “don’t need no Mario” and purposely gets herself kidnapped to infiltrate Bowser’s castle just to sabotage his plans because she could’ve broken free anytime she wanted to… breathe.

Is she a “princess,” but running things like she’s a “queen”? Many of us true fans know from Super Mario Bros. 3 game and media appearances in the 90s that she actually has a father named King Toadstool who is King of the Mushroom Kingdom. And since when have you ever known a princess, let alone a queen, to get her hands dirty? She has subjects to do things for her! Now she’s suddenly the captain, battlefield general, combat expert, biker, and infiltrating spy. Just Baddie Peach. How can you play first, second, and third base, and pitch, all at the same time? So seriously, why is Mario even needed again?

And now we have the second installment, which looks like more of the same from the trailer. We’ve got the umbrella weapon-wielding, kung fu–kicking princess who apparently “don’t needs no Mario” even less this time. And they didn’t even get the Galaxy story right!

In Super Mario Galaxy, Princess Peach’s role is that of a damsel in distress. She’s kidnapped by Bowser, who uses her castle to travel into space with her inside. She’s not a playable character but is central to the plot, as Mario must travel through different galaxies to rescue her. While held captive, she occasionally sends letters with power-ups to Mario from her castle in space...

Ha! Not this Baddie!

And now we’ve got Princess Rosalina making her appearance (probably the only accurate placement story-wise) but she’s super overpowered, acting like she doesn’t need no Mario, Peach, or even God to protect her. And yes, please, yes, I know she’s powerful. But the way they displayed her abilities at the end of the trailer was just to show how ridiculously overpowered she is in combat. It’s not power for story balance… It’s power just to scream “she doesn’t need no Mario either.” Rosalina was a powerful guide. Not an elegant fighting powerhouse...

Why is the damsel-in-distress trope so offensive to modern audiences? Why is seeing a powerful, heroic male lead wanting to protect a woman now considered toxic? That’s an important part of what made Super Mario stories so timeless. Those kinds of narratives inspired men to want to protect women from the bad guys. Even in real life.

Now they just shoehorn “empowered feminist” traits into characters that never had them, which throws off the entire story's rhythm. It’s just a bunch of familiar characters doing random things with a sliver of the original plot. A ball of confusion. It’s Mario mostly trying to “find himself as a competent man,” while the princess helps him find the “wee wee” she already has in her purse for him that she pulls to use when she needs to. That’s not the Mario I grew up with. Mario was brave, bold, and reckless in all the best ways.

Even in the old cartoons and Super Mario 64, he was thrilled to do whatever it took to save the princess and the Mushroom Kingdom. People today seem uncomfortable watching a female lead or side character who isn’t a strong, empowered, unflappable figure. Someone who might actually need help from a male character.

Hollywood knows exactly how to brainwash audiences into thinking this is what they want as well as defending it endlessly in the comment sections (like you will see here).

And even if that’s not the case, why not just tell the actual damn story?

This movie will make millions again because it’s Mario. It’s animated well, visually stunning, and fits what’s “modernly acceptable.” People don’t care about story accuracy anymore; they’ve either forgotten how to or just given up. They just want to be entertained… So be it... Here we goooooooooo!